What I Learned From Being The Flaky Friend


I have a confession.

It's not something that I'm proud of, but it's something that I am owning up to.

I was the flaky friend.

That's right, I was the friend that you make plans with only to be cancelled on last minute.

At the beginning of this year, I made a resolution that I would stop being the flaky friend and honor my commitments. So far, I have been doing a good job at it. 

Being the flaky friend wasn't all bad though...because of it, I learned very valuable lessons. 

It's ok to say "no"

I realized that my flakiness stemmed from me wanting to please everyone. I would say yes to everything without thought. When that day came, I would be tired or burned out and that would lead to me cancelling. 

Cancelling plans with my friends resulted in some of my friends getting annoyed with me (which was understandable).

It got to the point where some friends stopped asking me to do stuff with them because they expected me to flake.

Don't be afraid of the word no.

Keep it real with yourself

I realized that I wasn't keeping it real with myself. My desire to make everyone around me happy was taking a toll on me. I hated cancelling plans but I realized that I wouldn't have to continuously cancel plans if I was honest with myself.

Regardless of the mentality of "sleep when you die", I believe that everyone needs to rest. Cramming too much into your schedule (even if it's hanging out with your friends) can leave you feeling exhausted. 

I had to learn that sometimes I just have to take a minute and relax. I had to be honest with myself and realize when I was just doing too much. 

Get over FOMO

FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is real.

So real that I would give in and go to events with friends so that I wouldn't miss out. With social media apps like Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and Twitter, millennials are constantly documenting their every move. I admit that I was one of those millennials who always wanted to document every event I attended for social media.

I also admit that it was extremely exhausting. I had to give myself a reality check and realize that there will always be other events to attend. It is important to differentiate between the events that are once in a lifetime and the ones that will come again.

Compromising is everything

Being an only child, I am usually stereotyped as being spoiled and selfish. The older I get, the more I realize that there is no point in being selfish. Being able to compromise is sooo important...especially when it comes to friendships.

For example: I have a friend that wanted me to attend her birthday dinner. I really had all the intentions of going to this dinner party but when that day came around, I realized that I had to work all day. I got off later than expected and was scheduled to work the next morning. I was so tired. I knew that I would already be late to the dinner party so I decided that I could not make it.

I felt really bad about it but I had to cancel. I let her know and to compromise, I promised that I would take her out the next weekend. 

In my journey of not being flaky, I learned that compromising is a huge key to saving friendships and showing that you care about your friendship/relationship with that person.

Yes, being the flaky friend can  be really annoying but in every situation there is always a lesson to be learned.

At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you.

If you're tired from working all week, you have to take time out for yourself. Your friends will totally understand that and will appreciate you being truthful.

Don't be afraid of the word no.

Great friendships and relationships are based on honesty.